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The philosophers say that there is only the moment and all else
is illusion- but they are wrong. What was your love- the joys and
pain we shared- the beauty that we brought to each other -
the light in your eyes- the gaze that told me that your love was
eternal- and so deep- this will always be and it is the very reason
for my existence and all that means anything- and it is eternal.
-To  Grandma, Tasha, Sindar, Toby & spirit friends

Anger- a volcano poised to erupt- and from this anger- the truth
can emerge. From the shadow- will arise the passion to change.
A reminder of the truth of our being. Of who we are. Not how
They define us- you cannot and may not define us. We will
define who we are.
The price- the price of living a lie- the price of living the truth-
which would you rather pay? Never forget who you are.

When I think of past loves, imprinted on my brain and psyche
is only one refrain- over and over again it repeats...No more
lies. No more lies. No more lies.....I wonder if I was ever
loved for who I am.  A love undying- like mine.

Try to remember who YOU are. Hate is grounded in fear.
Fear is at the root of much of society's problems. One should
not use hate to achieve his or her ends. If you can fight- without
hate and show compassion even for those you think are your
enemies- you will win your battles.

One other thing that I learned recently. I lived under the illusion
that what happened in my personal life- my family- my partner,
my workplace- was somehow different from what happened
in the world- the environmental destruction, endless wars, and
more. But I was wrong. The anger in my family- the coldness of ones
I thought loved me- this is all the same- all part of the same suffering
that manifests in the world. I cried deeply over this. It was if all the
suffering in this world- that like you gives me so much pain- was
never very far away- in fact I was enmeshed in it- even with those
that were closest to me. If you can really feel what that is like-
you will understand why hate is not the answer. When we hate
and reject others- we reject a part of ourselves. I still believe in
fighting for causes one believes in. However fighting with hate
is not the answer. To truly defeat an enemy you must understand him.
And to do this- you must understand yourself.

Each day I am unsure what new health issue may arise- slowly
but surely shattering that confidence or illusion that I can face
the world without help. Yet I can still do many things and I
refuse to totally give into fear. Just being in the moment is enough.
Only a year ago I felt I could take on the world. Now I am trying
to gain control of myself- my body- my mind.

Part of the spiritual path is the acceptance of death. Yes, one
recognizes the continuity of spirit and that death is in some sense
moving from one plane to the next- a kind of shift in consciousness.
Life itself is an illusion and all is but dreamed and the dreaming
worlds more real than the physical- though the two subtly merge.
I do not believe that this is my time to die. Yet I must learn to accept
its inevitability and truth- or any spiritual pursuit will be less than
full, if not quite empty. I don't believe there is any other way to
progress spiritually.

Love is the unconditional support of someone’s soul.  It is the
unshakable desire to see them become what they were meant
to be, yet accepting of who there are now. It is unmoving, and
remains when all else is gone- whether that is youth, health,
mind and even life.

I do have a sense of what is right- often this is subtle and beautiful-
there is so much rightness in a spider's web, a drop of dew,
the gentle flowing of a brook and the soft words of trees.
I hear so much and there is so much to hear and so much love.

I have stepped through the looking glass- lost in a world where
magic is real, love everywhere and even pain is beautiful.
Once the stuff of dreams- barely glimpsed-it is now my only
reality. And as strange as it sounds, I mean every word I just
wrote. Which might make me insane- but comfortably so.

It is no longer an experience. It is my reality. Respect me
for what I am. Give and receive life. I have no need for
perfection- we are all of each other. Walk the Earth in
wisdom and peace. You come from the stars. Do not
forget where home is. I will not let you fall. Be careful
with boundaries- some are meant to be crossed- some
are not.- From the plants.

In the mind of God- we are all one. There is  no individual
consciousness. There is no time. There is no time. We are all
one. There is love, but the overwhelming sense  is oneness
and timelessness.

There is no duality- and there is no non-duality. There is no
existence and there is no non-existence. At the stroke of my pen-
I speak falsehood and bring duality- where there is none. The
limits of language you know well.

But...the great primordial energy of existence exists in that infinitely
small, yet infinitely powerful and creative place that is at the
boundaries of existence and non-existence- duality and non duality,
life and death. And as our consciousness extends to this- we have
something remarkable, unexpected and intellectually unsettling-
not the illusion of choice- but choice- the creative essence of the
universe is there- it can be tapped into into. We are one, because
we are nothing- we don't exist, yet we exist infinitely.

I am at the center of the Universe. I am where all creation comes
into being and dissolves. At the edge of existence and non-existence.
It is dark- yet suffused with the creation’s light. I feel incredible pain-
I feel the mother’s pain as she gives birth. Immersed in pain I begin to
heal. Pain is transmuted- as water to wine or wine to water.

Judgment gives way to acceptance and compassion. Fully Abandoning
what is false I can now embrace the true. Finally I can fully manifest
who I am.

In the darkest night there is light. In the abandonment of hope,
there is hope. There is no pain to great and love to small.

I am at the dark night of the soul- yet I have not rejected- I walk
between worlds- living in both light and darkness. The transmuting
of pain is my birthing into a new life.

Lowell Greenberg



Walt Whitman wrote in Leaves of Grass, that his work has, "mainly been the outcropping of my own emotional and other personal nature- an attempt, from the first to last, to put a Person, a human being (myself, in the later half of the Nineteenth Century, in America) freely, fully and truly on record."

Whitman has not been the inspiration of earthrenewal.org, but the web site, spanning over six years of my life, is evolving to just this. My writings are interspersed throughout the site. What I quote and link to is more often than not a reflection of what I believe is important and worthy. Even a cursory reading of the site makes no bones about my likes/dislikes/fears; hopes and suffering; feelings toward self, children- young and old; and political, education, environmental, social and religious/philosophical views- defining in part who I am.

Earthrenewal.org is about the free expression of life and search for truth- it is an impassioned plea for the fulfillment of mankind's potential and a warning of what may lie ahead if we continue to turn away from our own humanity.

I love life and this web site is a plea to you and others to love it equally or more- to cherish all that is human and good- to fight for who you are and what you believe. We come into and leave this earth with nothing but our eternal souls and naked fragile bodies. We are here to learn what it means to love. Everything else is insignificant.

The Earth is my heart. My purpose in life is to bring healing, so that the tree of life may become strong and the Earth will be healed. The lines of healing go back to our ancestors and those unborn. All is spirit.

Below are two images that have shaped the twentieth century and my own personal identity. One is the yellow badge, a symbol of Nazi persecution of Jews and the other is the pink triangle, a symbol of Nazi persecution of gay men and today of gay pride. A victim perhaps of human persecution, yet secure in God's love.

Finally, while this web site expresses my views and sometimes sadness about the world and the human condition, I must also remember the words of Don Clark, a gay psychologist and author of the classic Loving Someone Gay.

"I also am required to use my own compassion when looking at cynical leaders. It causes me to see their insecurities and their ignorance as well as their greed and their disdain for the many people they consider to be worth less. How can I not feel sorry for them? They are dangerous people and must be dealt with accordingly but they are also missing out on the peace and love that could have filled their lives. They fail to understand the necessity of diversity in a balanced life. Lacking that vital understanding, their lives are not satisfying. They grab for more – more power, more wealth, in vain attempts to fill the emptiness.

I am reminded that I must reach out to such people and offer information that can lessen their ignorance and with friendliness that can ease their fear or quiet their insecurity. When they are less fearful, they are less dangerous. I cannot always rally the necessary amount of compassion when faced with their awful hatred but I do it when I can. They need it badly.

Readers who follow my work know that I believe that the first responsibility of gay men and lesbians is to explore and tell our individual and collective gay truth to one another. It leads us to see our place in the ongoing varied human family. We must throw off the shell of identity taught to us and forced upon us early in life.

Finally, as I think about my life and my dream for it, I am reminded of the words of George Bernard Shaw:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.


From Man and Superman by George Bernard Shaw
 


 


 

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