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Even when I walk in the valley of Darkness, I will fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff – they comfort me.


Do I go to die or to live? Do I go to die to love? There must be no fear.

I was living in a bubble...what does that mean? It means that even though I knew the truth- and unlike others- chose not to escape from the truth...yet I was not living the truth. I had the illusion of security. When the truth became too painful there was always the brief escape- the reprieve. Yet all I really had to do is face the truth and live it and live my life in a way that is one with it. Security is for cowards. To not risk is to be dead.

I was in a dead relationship- the illusion of security- but there was no meeting of minds. No joy of discovery. No love of what is-never seen for who I was or who I imagine myself to be. Security? You have got to be kidding- unless you consider death secure...and I can assure you of one thing- it isn't.

I am about to do something which is difficult for me. On the one hand I feel supported by those today and in the past that act out of principle and are willing to pay a price. On the other hand I feel so alone. I know this aloneness is an illusion- yet I still feel alone. Or perhaps I always was alone- and only felt the illusion of not being so. Sometimes I wish I was still felt this illusion...most of the time I am thankful that I do not. Or perhaps I want what cannot be- as the song says-to love and to be loved in return. Or perhaps I already have/had this...Confused I guess. Not easy to go on.
 

It is amazing and beautiful how different and the same we all are and how all pursuits are ultimately spiritual in nature- a search for self discovery and enlightenment- a fuller understanding of our true nature. An understanding that we are all God.

"...For I was an hungred and ye gave me no meat; I was thirsty, and you gave me no drink:
 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
 Then shall they also answer, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me." (Matthew 25:43-45)

"The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." Kings 19:11

     "Beautiful New Worlds,"
     Dana Tiger

Beautiful New Worlds by Dana TigerWhether or not they know it, most of the world's religions and philosophies start from the same point. Like spokes emanating from a wheel's hub, they converge upon and diverge from a common center. That center is God or universal truth, compassion and wisdom. Learn from all religions, all philosophies and use only one test- is the belief sincere, does it bear good fruit and does it seem right, is it in accord with what is good and just. Men are more powerful in the universe than they can imagine. Walking in common purpose and prayer they can transform their individual and collective lives in ways most can barely imagine. "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." (Matthew 18:20) and again, "If two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 18:19).

All faith is ultimately personal. Faith, a belief in God, can be as natural and ever present as the oxygen in the air we breath. All men can become instruments of the creator. "Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works." (John 14:10). "Even the Spirit of Truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye shall know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you." (John 14:17).

Release and abandon all pretension of wisdom, of pride, of  belief in self, renounce the world and its' possessions and allow God to take shape and form your life. He will tell you what to say, will take you were you need to go and will help bring forth the innate goodness in those around you. He will cause you to meet new friends, and yes, you may uncover new enemies. "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me." (Matthew 19:21). But life is ultimately a battle and though one should not unnecessarily create enemies, sometimes enemies are needful to do good. "And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;..." (John 2:14-15).


"As one you are not as strong.
But if you believe, you will be
blessed with strength.
The Eagle is my strength."

"Warriors Strength,"
  Jerome Bushyhead

Kindred Spirit

"I am the spirit that walks with you through this arduous path, where the streams are fast and the waters are deep.

I am the spirit that will be with you at the end of this journey, when the sacred winds will lift you to the heavens

I am the spirit that willingly came here just for you: to accompany you, to love you and to guide you in your old age

I am the spirit that will never leave your side and be forever with you. "I AM YOUR KINDRED SPIRIT.""

Quotations and Poems from the diary of Alexey Ilyushin Berardi - San Francisco, CA - June 14, 1996


Tolerance
is a bare minimum and understood common ground that all the world's peoples dare not forget. But tolerance is only the beginning step in reconciliation and renewal. It must lead to love and community. Men must learn to love each other on all levels- as individuals and as members of groups- large and small. The good of the world cannot be done alone and apart. Our work should be a reflection of our love. We must seek the strength and fellowship of other men and woman.

The enemy of this world is in fact Satan. Think of Satan as you will, perhaps as a being or perhaps as an aspect of the human psyche. Satan seeks to isolate, to denigrate, to make us forget our commonness and community. He seeks to turn our guilt in upon itself and cause us to end our lives or the lives of others. He seeks to rob our lives of its meaning and joy. He teaches us to limit our potential and makes us forget that the chief purpose of life is to serve others and forgive. "And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve." (Luke 4:8).

Without faith, without a love of God and universal wisdom, men turn their faces from the truths that were made known to them as children. In children we find simple faith- a closeness to God. This closeness is not put their by Sunday School. It is not put their by their parents. It is placed there by God. "And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3). "Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me." (Mark 9:37).

In this world, suffering is not punishment. Nor is persecution.

We are here to breathe the spirit of God and universal truth. To serve God and all creation, ALL creation. Do no think the least of creatures on this Earth is not beloved of God, for God is in all of his creations and all of his creations are in him. Minister unto each other as Jesus ministered unto his disciples. As Jesus asked forgiveness for our sins, ask forgiveness for your own sins and the sins of others. "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses". (Matthew 6:14-15). Understand that no race, no religion, no living creature is less in the Father's eye. Find his love and manifest it to the world. "The first of all commandments is thou shalt love your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:30-31). "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35).

It is recognized that different beliefs use different ways of naming God, universal truth, wisdom, joy and compassion. Indeed, in many religions the words themselves are not thought of as symbols but have a power and significance of their own. Still it is possible to use different "names" to understand the same phenomena. God, the infinite, universal truth and wisdom entails far too great, rich and expansive an understanding to exclusively confine to the realm of one religion or to not see the universal as a series of infinite potentialities, variegated and equally rich. Though the paths may be infinite in number, that one must choose a path in life is clear to me. That it must be this one or that one is not. Often those who reject another's path, make the least effort to understand what his friend's beliefs actually mean- if indeed he is even really thought of as a friend. Yet, to know ones' self and to free ones' self from religious, political and personal symbols, ideas and beliefs that cloud self-knowledge- perhaps this is the beginning of all paths that seek truth and inner and outer transformation. 

Jesus said, "If those who lead you say to you "See, the Kingdom is in the sky," then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you "It is in the sea," then the fish will precede you. Rather, the Kingdom is inside of you and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living Father. But if you will not know yourselves you will dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty."- Gospel of Thomas 3

"Truth is a pathless land."
Man cannot come to it through any organization, through any creed, through any dogma, priest or ritual, not through any philosophic knowledge or psychological technique. He has to find it through the mirror of relationship, through the understanding of the contents of his own mind, through observation and not through intellectual analysis or introspective dissection. Man has built in himself images as a fence of security -- religious, political, personal. These manifest as symbols, ideas, beliefs. The burden of these images dominates man's thinking, his relationships and his daily life. These images are the causes of our problems for they divide man from man. His perception of life is shaped by the concepts already established in his mind. The content of his consciousness is his entire existence. This content is common to all humanity. The individuality is the name, the form and superficial culture he acquires from tradition and environment. The uniqueness of man does not lie in the superficial but in complete freedom from the content of his consciousness, which is common to all mankind. So he is not an individual.

Freedom is not a reaction; freedom is not choice. It is man's pretence that because he has choice, he is free. Freedom is pure observation without direction, without fear of punishment and reward. Freedom is without motive; freedom is not at the end of the evolution of man but lies in the first step of his existence. In observation one begins to discover the lack of freedom. Freedom is found in the choiceless awareness of our daily existence and activity.

Thought is time. Thought is born of experience and knowledge which are inseparable from time and the past. Time is the psychological enemy of man. Our action is based on knowledge and therefore time, so man is always a slave to the past. Thought is ever-limited and so we live in constant conflict and struggle. There is no psychological evolution. When man becomes aware of the movement of his own thoughts he will see the division between the thinker and the thought, the observer and the observed, the experiencer and the experience. He will discover that this division is an illusion. Then only is there pure observation which is insight without any shadow of the past or of time. This timeless insight brings about a deep radical mutation in the mind.

Total negation is the essence of the positive. When there is negation of all those things that thought has brought about psychologically, only then is there love, which is compassion and intelligence. - J. Krishnamurti

This is not to say there are not false paths. Paths that lead to the destruction of human potential, that isolate, that engender hate and self loathing- these are indeed false paths. Tragically, the most intolerant people I have encountered would label themselves the most religious. Indeed, they deem their intolerance an expression of God's will. What does this day about them? About their religion? Their God? 

The practice of religion should not be a cold, abstract intellectual experience, but rather a personal one that touches the essence of one's being and emotions. Finally, there is no "short cut" path to spiritual truth and understanding. Though in some sense it is through Divine grace that we even exist, we must with humility, joy, giving and an earnest desire for truth come to understand who we are and our life's meaning.

The church is in each and every one of us. Christ's mission was to teach us that our spiritual disconnectedness with each other, with the Earth and all living things- with the Universe as a whole- is unnecessary and brings only additional suffering and pain. He elevated those who suffer, not out of a sense of divine justice ("the meek shall inherit the Earth"), but because he knew that those who suffer are brought closer to God and better understand the connectedness of all things. His essential message is that we can all become Christ-like- teachers and seekers of truth- experiencing the joy that He knew.

Man's greatest fear is a kind of existential terror- the fear of not being- of being unable to control one's own life, one's thoughts, one's emotions, actions and future. The ability to extend beyond ones self and find meaning in giving, a firm belief in God, universal truths and/or the power of ones own humanity and the oneness of humanity- to overcome the condition of isolation- is critical if this terror is to be manageable and turned into a constructive life force- a force of cultural transcendence and self realization. As Ernest Becker wrote:

Man breaks through the bounds of merely cultural heroism; he destroys the character lie that had him perform as a hero in the everyday social scheme of things; and by doing so he opens himself up to infinity, to the possibility of cosmic heroism .... He links his secret inner self, his authentic talent, his deepest feelings of uniqueness ... to the very ground of creation. Out of the ruins of the broken cultural self there remains the mystery of the private, invisible, inner self which yearned for ultimate significance. ...This invisible mystery at the heart of [the] creature now attains cosmic significance by affirming its connection with the invisible mystery at the heart of creation. - Becker's words were quoted from the article, "The Denial of Death and the Practice of Dying," (or: "Tasting Death"), by Glenn Hughes.

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Slavery Is..
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The Millennium Matters

Reality is consciousness. Consciousness shapes, limits, defines and creates reality. We never really see ourselves, let alone another person apart from
how we perceive them. Their reality will be different from ours. The reality
of our bodies, our lovers, our families, our communities, our nation, our planet and our universe is shaped by our consciousness and perception of them. Yet our values, our understanding of community, our integrity, our desire for truth as individuals shapes the collective reality- karma defines a collective responsibility. Our conscious spheres intersect and interact to shape a collective reality that defines our existence and can determine it. If we destroy the Earth through individual and collective decisions that fail to recognize the interconnectedness of life and our understanding of truth- the Earth will physically die- the Earth has a body and a consciousness like our own- she can die. Families, communities and nations can also die- whether or not their members continue to exist.

"For a Sufi, the diversity of names and forms of the world's religious tendencies are like veils covering the phenomena of the Spirit of Guidance manifested at all levels of evolution. This inner guidance is constantly present in the beautiful book of nature's mysteries, which reveals a never-ending message of Love, providing one's understanding of the relationship between matter and spirit is in harmony with one's feeling heart. This explains why one of the great ideals of a Sufi is the awakening of the heart qualities, resulting in a broader outlook. One's view then reaches far beyond concepts of faith and belief, and allows one to offer tolerance to the tragic misunderstandings which divide the earnest followers of various religious and philosophical traditions."

The Inner School - Sufi - Gathekas

"The true basis of religion is not belief but intuitive experience. Intuition is the soul's power of knowing God. To know what religion is really about, one must know God."

Paramhansa Yogananda

"All original thinkers and investigators of the hidden side of nature whether materialists -- those who find in matter "the promise and potency of all terrestrial life," or spiritualists -- that is, those who discover in spirit the source of all energy and of matter as well, were and are, properly Theosophists. For to be one, one need not necessarily recognize the existence of any special God or a deity. One need but worship the spirit of living nature and try to identify oneself with it. To revere that Presence, the invisible Cause, which is yet ever manifesting itself in its incessant results; the intangible, omnipotent, and omnipresent Proteus: indivisible in its Essence, and eluding form, yet appearing under all and every form; who is here and there and everywhere and nowhere; is ALL, and NOTHING: ubiquitous yet one; the Essence filling, binding, bounding, containing everything, contained in all. It will, we think, be seen now, that whether classed as Theist, Pantheists or Atheists, such men are all near kinsmen to the rest. Be what he may, once that a student abandons the old trodden highway of routine, and enters upon the solitary path of independent thought -- Godward -- he is a Theosophist, an original thinker, a seeker after the eternal truth, with "an inspiration of his own" to solve the universal problems."

"The Omnipresent Proteus,"  by H. P. Blavatsky


Black Elk's Vision

"I was standing on the highest mountain of them all, and round about beneath me was the whole hoop of the world. And while I stood there I saw more than I can tell and I understood more than I saw; for I was seeing in a sacred manner the shapes of all things in the spirit, and the shape of all shapes as they must live together like one being. And I saw that the sacred hoop of my people was one of many hoops that made one circle, wide as daylight and as starlight, and in the center grew one mighty flowering tree to shelter all children of one mother and one father. And I saw that it was holy."

"You have noticed that everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the Power of the World always works in circles, and everything tries to be round. In the old days when we were a strong and happy people, all our power came to us from the sacred hoop of the nation, and so long as the hoop was unbroken, the people flourished. The flowering tree was the living center of the hoop, and the circle of the four quarters nourished it. The east gave peace and light, the south gave warmth, the west gave rain, and the north with its cold and mighty wind gave strength and endurance. This knowledge came to us from the outer world with our religion. Everything the Power of the World does is done in a circle. The sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nests in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours. The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle. The moon does the same, and both are round. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves. Our teepees were round like the nests of birds, and these were always set in a circle, the nation’s hoop, a nest of many nests, where the Great Spirit meant for us to hatch our children."

"I cured with the power that came through me. Of course, it was not I who cured, it was the power from the Outer World, the visions and the ceremonies had only made me like a hole through which the power could come to the two-leggeds."

"If I thought that I was doing it myself, the hole would close up and no power could come through. Then everything I could do would be foolish."

"A long time ago my father told me what his father had told him, that there was once a Lakota holy man, called "Drinks Water", who dreamed what was to be... He dreamed that the four-leggeds were going back to the Earth, and that a strange race would weave a web all around the Lakotas. He said, "You shall live in square gray houses, in a barren land..." Sometimes dreams are wiser than waking."

See also: "Earth Prayer" and "Black Elk: Holy Man of the Oglala Sioux, 1863-1950"

The Religious Situation of Our Time

No peace among nations
Without peace among the religions

No peace among the religions
Without dialogue between the religions

No dialogue between the religions
Without investigation of the foundation of the religions

Believe as you will, but look for and accept the
Commonality that defines our interdependence. 

Christianity - Essence, History, and Future, Hans Kung


The Mystery of Person

"Again and again we come to recognize that the most essential, joyful mystery of Christianity is the mystery of the person, of what makes each human being valuable to God, of what we can and must love in him or her. It is precisely this mystery which the world and its ruling ideologies have repudiated. To them, a human being is defined by externals: class, race nationality, utilitarian value, what he or she gives to the country or, on the contrary, their mistakes and crimes. Our people vs. strangers, allies vs. enemies, us vs. them... Yet it seems that everyone is talking about liberation for human society, happiness for the world, prescriptions for humanity, the struggle for a bright, happy and liberated life. But in reality, all are united against someone else and everything is motivated by fear, suspicion and hatred. And it will be this way until people understand that to love humanity in general, to serve humanity in general, is not only a deception; it is also impossible if this love is not rooted in love for the person, for each person, a love which goes beyond any of our earthy, 'human, all too human' standards and categories which we use to classify and evaluate people."

 Alexander Schmemann, Celebration of Faith, Sermons Vol 2: The Church Year


All I Know

"This winter I drove eighteen hundred miles to help a friend with aids. I saw him for fifteen minutes upon arrival and again for less than one minute a month later. I stayed two and a half months to be there for him. I learned very many very precious things.

From the badgering by some friends which included that "I should be angry that he was ignoring me"; and that "we couldn't have communicated as I told them"; also that "he was being a terrible person ignoring me and not inviting me to stay at his house"; and that above all "I was and am a bad judge of people because of this and other inappropriate experiences I've had.

I learned first and foremost I make and own my choices. There can be reactions and consequences to my actions which I may not enjoy. I am not locked into my decisions. Therefore quite relatively free to change my mind at any time. I learned to recognize what belongs to me and what doesn't in many situations. I cannot then construe being done against when I see my truth.

When tempted towards negative thinking, which used to be my learned habit, or adopting opinions that are clearly not mine I learned to exercise short-circuiting the process and hear myself say "I am not going there. I don't want to go there" (anymore.) This reaction I reinforce by reminding myself not to allow an opinion to formulate from speculation -- no matter how clearly obvious the circumstances might appear. I exercise an appropriate response based upon only what is known for certain. I decide not to base anything on appearances or negative impressions. There is liberating peace and great pleasure in exercising this.

I was there because I chose to be- that was the only thing I knew for certain.

Rarely are things as they appear, usually they are infinitely much better! We just can't (yet) or won't (always) see it --certainly not by habitually maintaining a focused and tense point of view.

I learned again I do not live in anyone else's shoes -- or head or body. Therefore it is not for me to act like I do. Certainly not to believe or claim to know either where someone else is; how they feel or what they are going through. I can know virtually nothing about another person, especially how they are affected by their traumas or their enduring pain thresholds particularly emotional, psychic and spiritual. I cannot always reasonably compare it with my own. I learned I don't want to act like I do. I will develop empathy and compassion but not such arrogance.

I learned not to judge. When confronted by a friends' presentation concluding I am a terrible judge of people, I said nothing. His case was full of convincing evidence. I could not defend what I did not quite accept I was guilty of, nor was I willing to take on feeling ashamed or place blame. I didn't believe I have been so wronged by people. (Indeed I have but that is something else.) Later, distanced from that well-meaning attack I could see my flaw was in not judging people. Therefore I can't be a good, bad or poor judge of character. I am a good person and openly trust and care so naturally I will be subject to some bad-appearing experiences. I walk a fine line of responsibility and accountability. Many experiences can be construed as against me -- but I know better.

I learned to not inappropriately fault myself or others when people do not do as they say or when they act out (their stuff) with high drama. Life genuinely is better and more peaceful. Socially accepted negative habits are tempting to indulge but do not positively enhance life. Faulting, like inappropriate shame and blame is a waste of energy. Being right doesn't matter (--there is such a thing as being dead right!)

Finally I learned about being somewhere for someone -- without expectations or personal agenda or the need to be acknowledged.

I thanked the friend I went to San Francisco for for getting me there -- knowing I was there for me, not just him. The awkwardness and challenges of living out of a van those cold and wet winter months like most pain faded with time. The treasure of so many precious gifts remains with me and expands.

I met many magical people. I was gifted great- Dan Martel, " ALL I Know."

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.

Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows, yet we considered
him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment
that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 52: 3-5 (NIV)

Because of this, God in his wisdom said, `I will send
them prophets and apostles, some of whom they will
kill and others they will persecute.'

Luke 11:49 (English-NIV)


Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me,
thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen,
and yet have believed.

John 20:29 (King James Version)


Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall possess the earth.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.
Blessed are they who suffer persecution for justice' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when men reproach you, and persecute you, and speaking falsely, say all manner of evil against you, for My sake.


The Beatitudes


"Troublemakers:
Since no one really knows anything about God,
those who think they do are just troublemakers." - Rabia,
8th century Sufi woman.

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want. Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two
worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don't go back to
sleep."- Rumi

I am in this world, but not of this world. I came to you to come
to my Father. I am in the Father and the Father is in me.
I am the son of the living God.

If you cannot experience pain- not the pain of a frustrated ego, but the true pain that is within and without- then you are bound inflict it on others. Understanding pain, you can begin to heal- within and without...

You are awakened to a world that is not this world.

I must not let my sensitivity diminish my compassion.

I had a dream. I was in a play. I played the part of an angel. Somewhere towards the middle/end, I forgot my lines. I stayed backstage, fearful that I would hurt the performance and my fellow actors. Finally, I went to the the director and said- I forgot my lines. He replied- that doesn't matter- just be who you are, be present- that is enough.

I was hiking with my dog today. There were many joggers on the path. This disturbed me. I felt them trampling on what I love- without understanding it- not sharing my love. I was in pain and became angry. Finally I got off the main path. There were fewer of them. At a certain point- it was just me and my dog. The clouds were part of a mist that gave the impression of a soft sea floating in the sky. The sun was emanating from the trees- a brilliance- beyond words. The young trees were silent and joyfully receiving the light. The mountain was standing- watching. loving, wise- one with my heart. I was happy and in tears. The joy of oneness- of being with who and what I love. The moments passed, we took the return path. I was happy. The pain was worth the joy.

In life, we often find that we are least receiving of the love we need when we need it most- friends, family- often prove false or inadequate- but sometimes, if we are open, the universe brings us what we need- from the most unexpected places. I am need this now.

Most men exist in a bubble of delusion- they can’t travel with their minds- so they travel with their bodies- the greatest journeys are within- not outside.

Everything is nothingness. There is only silence. Everything is one.

A prisoner in my own self made prison.

"My mother is the Earth, my father the Sun. I am a protector of life & a teacher. Yet my strength is found in the gentlest & humblest. In the plants, animals & mountains & their sacred wisdom- in the butterfly, so deeply connected with the soul's transformation- in the loving eyes of a stray dog- in the light in a friend's eyes- in all things spirit, connected & alive."

"I am the mountain, I am the trees, I am the river, I am the ocean, I am the smallest insect and the tallest giraffe- I am all things- I have created all things. All creation in the universe is inseparable from me. The ocean is my blood, the trees my lungs. When one part of creation is in pain, I feel this pain. Creation is my child and I am a child of creation. I am light and all is light. I am darkness and all is darkness."

"To heal one must understand and experience the oneness of all creation- sense the pain of human beings individually and collectively, understand the meaning of separation and focus on the beautiful essence of all souls and creation. The energy to heal comes from the great universe- a vast sea of spirits, ancestors, light- this energy can be channeled, focused and then used to encircle the planet- the universe- in a love field."

Fire encased in light.

If we think we are everything than we are nothing. If we think we are nothing- yet part of everything- we are everything.

In death we become one with all consciousness- experiencing complete joy, peace and beauty. Pain is an illusion- there is only love.


I think the key is to understand and feel the suffering of all beings, including one’s own- and then to further recognize that the part of us that suffers is not our true selves. To understand our true self is in part to understand what I just wrote and then to experience it. The true self is in deep connection with everything- experiences boundless love and has compassion for all suffering beings….

None of this is to deny the reality of suffering- only to understand what it is. Nor does this realization in any way diminish one’s responsibility to work for the truth- in both words and actions. The reality of most beings is a kind of unreality- a chain of karmic suffering that spans lifetimes.


I must have faith that this existence is all part of the universal unfolding and greater purpose.

"I have many visions- I can feel, sense those that have passed over. I can sense thoughts from anywhere- I can in some sense be at many places at once. I can return to places I have been thousands of years ago- I can numb myself to stop the pain. I was burned at the stake long ago. I can instantly forget and instantly remember. I can hold on to and let go in an instant. I am the light on the water- the ocean as it reaches the shore, the in between- what is and isn't. What I see is beyond words. Words never really say anything. Everything is silence."

"I feel overwhelmed by the insensitivity of others - how they simply project their needs and wants upon the world- how so much in relationships is merely an expression of ego. I find solace and peace in nature- among the non-human spirits that I feel deep connectedness to. But for my fellow humans- I am feeling confusion- they sadden me. They seem like walking automatons- even those who are supposedly awake. I feel awake in a world of sleeping people and I can't help but feel lonely- there is almost a sense of terror- as if waking up and surrounded by a room full of ghosts- or am I the ghost. Have I died? Yes I have died- but not yet fully reborn. I need help- but who will heal the healer?"

"Though words are inadequate- there is a distinction between pain and suffering. The experience of pain does not necessarily lead to suffering. Much of the pain I have been feeling- of late is not completely tied to a false sense of self- but rather to a sensitivity to what is. I believe that this sensitivity is important to a spiritual path- to love."

"To understand and experience those aspects of self that are not ego, one must go within and without. One can only experience self when one experiences non-self."

"Even as we oppose what is clearly wrong, we must gaze on the beautiful aspects of the human soul- teaching by example- words and actions- recognizing our own imperfection and the perfection of our soul. There is always hope."

"Part of the spiritual path is the acceptance of death. Yes, one recognizes the continuity of spirit and that death is in some sense moving from one plane to the next- a kind of shift in consciousness. Life itself is an illusion and all is but dreamed and the dreaming worlds more real than the physical- though the two subtly merge. I do not believe that this is my time to die. Yet I must learn to accept its inevitability and truth- or any spiritual pursuit will be less than full, if not quite empty. I don't believe there is any other way to progress spiritually."

"There are many things I sense, but chose not to acknowledge into full consciousness- those that have passed over, my being in these many places- many other things. I can bring myself to a fuller consciousness- but I don't have to. Mostly I am content to sense- to know through what you would call intuition. Yet if I wish I can focus my awareness and talk, see and feel spirit. Everything is spirit and light. I can see things this way. I can talk to trees- hold conversations, talk to mountains, talk to those that have passed over. I can experience consciousness anywhere in the universe. I can ask questions- I can flow in and out of minds. I can open myself up as much as I chose and also limit my communication. Much of what I am told is attuned to my level of awareness, temperament and spiritual understanding. Everything comes back to this spiritual understanding. I experienced many things at Teo- merging, messages of love and understanding, memories, great truth. It is not Teo, it is not me- it is Teo, me, you and all the spirit that infuses what is sacred- and all is sacred. All is beautiful."

"This technological age will end. It will end after a great destruction brought about from war. In time the earth and life will recover. The earth is a seed. Life will spring forth again. Mankind will reemerge. Today, in this Dark Age, many are planting the seeds for this new age. We are teaching about connectedness- spiritual technology- oneness with creation. We are thinking of ways to transmit knowledge so that each generation does not forget the lessons of the last. We are teaching about the dangers of technology. Mankind will renounce the technology that brought about his near destruction. One day man will live again in balance with the universe- consciously. Thousands of years from now, the great destruction may become a myth in men's minds. However, the seeds have been planted and the lessons finally learned and there will be no further human caused destruction. All things will be in balance."


Prophecy
"Warriors of the Rainbow"

"There was an old lady, from the "Cree" tribe, named "Eyes of Fire", who prophesied that one day, because of the white mans' or Yo-ne-gis' greed, there would come a time, when the fish would die in the streams, the birds would fall from the air, the waters would be blackened, and the trees would no longer be, mankind as we would know it would all but cease to exist.
There would come a time when the "keepers of the legend, stories, culture rituals, and myths, and all the Ancient Tribal Customs" would be needed to restore us to health. They would be mankinds’ key to survival, they were the "Warriors of the Rainbow". There would come a day of awakening when all the peoples of all the tribes would form a New World of Justice, Peace, Freedom and recognition of the Great Spirit.

The "Warriors of the Rainbow" would spread these messages and teach all peoples of the Earth or "Elohi". They would teach them how to live the "Way of the Great Spirit". They would tell them of how the world today has turned away from the Great Spirit and that is why our Earth is "Sick".

The "Warriors of the Rainbow" would show the peoples that this "Ancient Being" (the Great Spirit), is full of love and understanding, and teach them how to make the "Earth or Elohi" beautiful again. These Warriors would give the people principles or rules to follow to make their path right with the world. These principles would be those of the Ancient Tribes. The Warriors of the Rainbow would teach the people of the ancient practices of Unity, Love and Understanding. They would teach of Harmony among people in all four comers of the Earth.

Like the Ancient Tribes, they would teach the peoples how to pray to the Great Spirit with love that flows like the beautiful mountain stream, and flows along the path to the ocean of life. Once again, they would be able to feel joy in solitude and in councils. They would be free of petty jealousies and love all mankind as their brothers, regardless of color, race or religion. They would feel happiness enter their hearts, and become as one with the entire human race. Their hearts would be pure and radiate warmth, understanding and respect for all mankind, Nature, and the Great Spirit. They would once again fill their minds, hearts, souls, and deeds with the purest of thoughts. They would seek the beauty of the Master of Life - the Great Spirit! They would find strength and beauty in prayer and the solitudes of life.

Their children would once again be able to run free and enjoy the treasures of Nature and Mother Earth. Free from the fears of toxins and destruction, wrought by the Yo-ne-gi and his practices of greed. The rivers would again run clear, the forests be abundant and beautiful, the animals and birds would be replenished. The powers of the plants and animals would again be respected and conservation of all that is beautiful would become a way of life.

The poor, sick and needy would be cared for by their brothers and sisters of the Earth. These practices would again become a part of their daily lives.

The leaders of the people would be chosen in the old way - not by their political party, or who could speak the loudest, boast the most, or by name calling or mud slinging, but by those whose actions spoke the loudest. Those who demonstrated their love, wisdom, and courage and those who showed that they could and did work for the good of all, would be chosen as the leaders or Chiefs. They would be chosen by their "quality" and not the amount of money they had obtained. Like the thoughtful and devoted "Ancient Chiefs", they would understand the people with love, and see that their young were educated with the love and wisdom of their surroundings. They would show them that miracles can be accomplished to heal this world of its ills, and restore it to health and beauty.

The tasks of these "Warriors of the Rainbow" are many and great. There will be terrifying mountains of ignorance to conquer and they shall find prejudice and hatred. They must be dedicated, unwavering in their strength, and strong of heart. They will find willing hearts and minds that will follow them on this road of returning "Mother Earth" to beauty and plenty - once more.

The day will come, it is not far away. The day that we shall see how we owe our very existence to the people of all tribes that have maintained their culture and heritage. Those that have kept the rituals, stories, legends, and myths alive. It will be with this knowledge, the knowledge that they have preserved, that we shall once again return to "harmony" with Nature, Mother Earth, and mankind. It will be with this knowledge that we shall find our "Key to our Survival".

This is the story of the "Warriors of the Rainbow" and this is my reason for protecting the culture, heritage, and knowledge of my ancestors. I know that the day "Eyes of Fire" spoke of - will come! I want my children and grandchildren to be prepared to accept this task. The task of being one of the........"Warriors of the Rainbow"."- Lelanie Stone


From the Trees...To the Trees

" We love you. We have waited for you for thousands, millions of years. Whatever the price- it is worth that moment when we experience your beauty- your love. You are our father- our creator. Your love for us, our love for you you- cannot be concealed- cannot be diminished by all of the words and lies of men. We created you and you created us. All the pain is worth that moment of joy."

"My love for you is great. Who you are is eternal and can never be erased. It shines upon the very heavens and is emblazoned upon the book of life. You are my children. My works- the works of men- give me great pain. I see the self destructiveness. What sustains me is your love. The hope is that the experience of love will overcome the rest- and thereby our joy multiplied a thousand fold."

Tasha

It has been many years since you crossed over. Every moment I feel you with me. There are no words to describe how much I love you- the very thought of you brings tears to my eyes- tears of joy for what we had- and sadness for what is no more- at least on this plane. If I should die tomorrow- then I will know one thing- I was loved and accepted and understood- and I knew true love.

 

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